


Talking Himself off the Ledge

by HolyKingWasteLand



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Author Projecting onto TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Depressed TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Dream SMP Spoilers, Exiled TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Exiled TommyInnit Arc, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Implied/Referenced Suicide, Lonely TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Minecraft, Minecraft Roleplay - Freeform, Not Beta Read, Roleplay, Suicidal Thoughts, Trigger Warnings, We die like TommyInnit's will to live /rp, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, suicide ideation, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:33:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28376259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HolyKingWasteLand/pseuds/HolyKingWasteLand
Summary: Tommy finds himself in the nether again, staring down at the bubbling lava. He wishes for someone to save him, but it's only him up here now.or; I'm using TommyInnit's roleplay persona to vent out my own feelings
Comments: 4
Kudos: 94





	Talking Himself off the Ledge

**Author's Note:**

> TW's:  
> Suicide talk  
> Suicide Ideation  
> Slightly referenced self-harm (in the way of letting mobs hit him)  
> Lots of negative talk about himself (that is 100% not true, just me projecting)
> 
> This is in no way related or written about actual TommyInnit the content creator, just his minecraft persona. If he expresses that he's uncomfortable with these sort of fics I will take it down asap. Thank you, enjoy :)<3

Tommy sits at the edge of the bridge, legs dangling over the endless stretch of popping lava. His hands are in his lap, tightly curled into one-another.

He wants someone to talk him off this ledge he's put himself up on. But it's only him up there now. He's managed to push everyone away. And maybe he deserves this isolation, but he's never had this much time to think, and the more he does the further he spirals.

He remembers.

He remembers _everything_.

Sitting with Tubbo on their bench, listening to his discs; building L'Manburg and then fighting (and dying) for its right to exist; his brothers slowly turning on him and mercilessly destroying everything they've worked for.

And then... they just kicked him out. One wrong move, something that many others have done far worse, and Tommy is exiled.

All his stuff is blown up.

All his friends abandoned him.

The place his fought tooth and nail for... is thriving.

He lets out a bitter laugh, teetering dangerously over the edge.

He glances over his shoulder at Dream's portal. No one's coming through.

He's been here for five minutes now. It's the middle of the night, he reasons to himself, of course Dream won't notice you're here if he's not awake. No ones awake.

He looks at the lava.

He could. No one would know until it was far too late.

He remembers loving so hard and desperately searching for someone to return it. He remembers yearning for his brothers' hugs, and watching Wilbur slowly lose it while Techno pretended it was fine. He remembers false promises, of men saying they'd never leave him.

But they did. They all do in the end.

He remembers trying to open up a few times, but people telling him to be quiet, or that it wasn't a good time. He remembers shutting himself off after the seventh attempt.

He started going out more alone. Coming home with bruises and scars that no one questions because hey, it's Tommy! He hid an arrow wound from his brothers successfully, and managed to make healing potions to fix it before either of them found out.

They still don't know how he got that scar on his stomach.

He closes his eyes and leans back against the warm netherack. Maybe if he waited long enough, someone would think to come save him. What a selfish thought, he laughs. He wants someone to piece together everything he's said, and understand that he's not okay.

Is that so much to ask?

He wants someone to see him, really see him. But all they see is a mask that he's spent years perfecting... right?

But he remembers taking that mask off. Didn't he? Yeah.

Yeah he did.

Did they really just not care enough about him to make sure he's alive?

Just a quick message asking how he's going, or if they can do anything to help him in these trying times. But no, they're too busy for that.

He's the only one up here now. He's the only one who can talk himself off the ledge – everyone else is gone.

He sits on the ledge.

He thinks about an imaginary world, an alternate time, where everybody loves him.

One where his father didn't murder his brother.

One where his brother didn't murder his best friend.

One where he wants to keep living.

But it's not real. And he knows by the morning he'll regret coming here. But no one will know, so why does he feel so guilty?

He takes one more look into the lava, before standing up.

He forces himself off of the ledge, and gives it a gentle pat so it will be just as kind to him tomorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> This is pretty much just an edited version of my own vent I saved in notes, so apologies if it's not in character!
> 
> I'm okay while writing this, I'm sorry for disappearing for 8 months and then coming back with this angst-filled fic,,,, I hope you all had an amazing holidays! Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah, or whatever you celebrate <3


End file.
